Notes From My Twenties

Hello there,

I’m in my twenties, and I thought by now my life would be set. I had a picture in my head of graduating, opening doors, everything falling into place. I just didn’t think I’d have to struggle. I thought I would soar. Yet somehow, it turned into the complete opposite.

Four years later, I feel like I haven’t moved. I’m still standing in the same place, with no clear direction about what I want. I have no real plan, just a lot of questions I don’t know the answers to.

I’m keeping myself anonymous. Not because I’m hiding something shocking, but because I want to be honest. Honest in a way I can’t be in real life, with my family, my peers, and others. There are things that make it easier to say when no one knows who you are. Thoughts and regrets I’ve had over the years. Feelings I can’t scream out. 

Besides all of that, outside of all of this, I’m still just me. 

I like doing my nails and others’ because it’s one of the few moments that make me calm and focused. I listen to a lot of music, probably more than an average person, haha. I enjoy a movie here and there when I need a little comfort. I especially like to collect things, TRINKETS. Oh, how I love them. They bring me joy that I feel no one understands, except me, and they give me small glimpses of hope. 

My blog isn’t a success story at the moment. For now, I hope. It’s more like a record of in-betweens, the pressure, the doubt, moments I tried, and those I didn’t. Parts of me I’m still trying to regret. 

Some entries will go back. Some will be present. Some might not make sense. It might be all over the place. But they are real stories, with some details I might change for privacy and anonymity. 

If you are here, you may have had similar feelings. Maybe not. Maybe you’ll hate me. Maybe you’ll relate. You might get frustrated with my actions, but I hope you stay. 

All of this is me. I’m making sense of things one entry at a time. And please stay patient with me as I try to navigate this blog. I’m still new to this. But I really do hope you stay with my journey. 

~ Caitlin